Code of Conduct

Making our games safe

Come Close and Listen and the Dance Of Ribbons creative team are committed to creating a safe and playful space that supports diversity and inclusivity. We want to support a LARP community that creates spaces in which folks can be themselves and experience the worlds and characters we co-create, ideally in a way that does not impinge on the experiences of others. Our guiding principles are that of generosity, gratitude, and respect. As such, we have created the
Generous Player Manifesto, and offer guidelines for conduct in our shared play spaces and our shared online spaces. 

The Generous Player
  • Generosity describes a readiness to give. Being a generous player is winning. Generous play is good play.
  • Play is always voluntary. Have gratitude for the boundaries of others. 
  • Where possible, be inviting. Make interesting situations happen. If you can’t make, seek out. If you can’t seek, be open to interesting situations. Be inviting, accept invitation.
  • Avoid main character energy–behaving as though you are the main character of everyone’s story. Make others look good, and know that they are making you look good too. 
  • Your backstory is not your character. What is more important are your motivations in the moment. How will you respond?
  • Your character can and should change. Be surprised by your own character’s actions.
  • Failure is an integral part of your character’s story. Failure will define your character. Do not expect to ”win” in every encounter or moment.
  • Trust your Witnesses/GM’s. Do your best to be trustworthy yourself.
  • Your mental and physical safety is more important than the game. 
  • Remember that you and everyone else is a character. 
  • Remove yourself from the game if you need.

Generous play is aimed at making everyone feel safe and welcome in the spaces we co-create as a community, even as we play with difficult themes, emotions, and conflicts. It is our commitment that our events are diverse and inclusive. 

We pledge to cultivate a culture that is safe, accessible, fosters inclusiveness, promotes diversity and celebrates the unique skills and qualities of all our participants. We are dedicated to providing a harassment free environment for all participants, regardless of gender, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, intersex status, disability, ethnicity, race or religion. We do not tolerate bullying or harassment in any form.

These pledges are achievable only if everyone is committed to conducting themselves generously. Please see below for conduct guidelines for both online and live spaces. 

Online Spaces
  • Our community discord should be a safe and welcoming space for all Dance of Ribbons players.
  • It is open to all, regardless of nationality, employment status, gender, sexual orientation, disability, race, age, body-size, or religion.
  • All members must actively work towards a safe, encouraging, and inclusive community.
  • All members are encouraged to invite prospective players to the Discord.
  • There is zero tolerance for abuse, discrimination, or harassment of any kind.
  • There is zero tolerance for hateful language including that which relies on sexist, racist, and/or ableist tropes. 

❣️  Treat others with respect, courtesy and fairness.

🚫  Harassment or discrimination is not tolerated.

⚠️  Please report any such behaviour to the moderators of the channel for further review and action. Feel free to private message the @DanceofRibbons account to reach a moderator.

The above is based both on the work of Geek Feminism and the Caligo Mundi Discord. Thank you to these communities for their work in making safe play spaces!

Live Play Spaces
  • The player’s safety is the most important aspect of the LARP – a character can go through a lot, but a player should not.
  • The LARP world is a consensual and collaborative fictional world. Behind the guise of play, we are all still people, therefore real world laws still apply. Genuine antisocial behaviour will be treated seriously and immediately.
  • Consent can be revoked at any time. Continue to check in. Have gratitude for the boundaries of others.
  • Simulated violence not real violence.
  • Do not harass anyone. You may be asked to leave an area or leave another player alone if you continue to harass.
  • Do not mess with a participant’s out of character/personal belongings.
  • Do not get drunk. 
  • Do not use or distribute illegal substances.
  • Treat everyone with respect out of character
  • You must be 18 years or older to attend.
  • Try to avoid carrying real world technology. If you need to use real world technology, please move to the designated spaces.
  • Speak to a GM if you think anyone is in breach of these rules.

Organisers will take whatever action we feel is necessary for the safety and emotional wellbeing of the participants of our game. The following list is a guideline of the measures Organisers can take:

  • Verbal Warning – taken aside by a GM who will discuss the issue briefly
  • Official Warning – outside of a play zone discussion with at least two GMs present.
  • Must Leave – you may be told you must leave a certain scene or situation, and you must do so both In Character (IC) and Out of Character (OOC) as much as possible. We understand this can be difficult, but we are all mature adults and can act within reason. This decision can come from another player or the GM team, it always affects both people involved.
  • Ban or Expulsion from the current event.
  • Ban from all future Come Close & Listen events.
  • Blacklist – ban from all Come Close & Listen events as well as events we are associated with. If other clubs in the community wish to know is on our blacklist we will inform them. This level of action will often be paired with legal action.